yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
