it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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