Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
