It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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