The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
