Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize