I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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