yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
