how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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