we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
