i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
