Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
