Plan B is the new Plan A
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
