Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fuck appropriateness.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
