ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
