I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
