He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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