omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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