Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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