I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Will exercising make me less horny?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
