Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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