Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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