I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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