I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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