She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
