hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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