doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
