And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
