He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
