3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
where does the pee come out of this thing
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
