hotel room ftw
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize