I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
