I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
