You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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