Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
