just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
