It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
