i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
