i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
