I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
