you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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