There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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