Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
