I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
