I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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