You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
