I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
