Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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