How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
