he thought i was a dude.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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