with your own penis?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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