I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
