didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
