did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
