that's an acceptable place to lick
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
