i need an iv and a liver transplant
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
