i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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