you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
