why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
