I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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