they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
