I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
3pm strippers are depressing
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
