Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
