i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woke up backwards on a recliner
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
