Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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