Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
